Hehe! Please, read on if you are single and
tired of the singles market.
Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is
the easiest thing in the world. This is
your chance to stop being single and get
a-mingling. These easy steps will get you
married, bedded, bare foot and pregnant
in less than a year, guaranteed or your
money back.
– Be very religious. Nigerian men
loveeeee them some religious girls. you
don’t actually have to be, you just have
to pretend that you are. talk about the
night vigils you go to every now and
then. slip in some Bible passages in
random conversations even when they
don’t fit in. Give him a Bible for his
birthday. call him randomly for
“morning prayers”. a nigerian man will
marry a woman who appears to be
religious. fake it till you get that ring
baby girl.
– Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that
you love children so much. especially
other people’s children. coo at them at
grocery stores, malls, lounges, planes.
talk about how much you love children.
carry his friends’ kids all day long. offer
to help feed them. it doesn’t matter that
you don’t love other people’s kids and
think that children can be such dicks
from a very early age, it should not
matter. pretend girl. you’re auditioning
to be his baby popper, act like one.
– Don’t ever mention that you’re a
“feminist”. femi-gini? that shit don’t live
here miss. Fuck women rights. accept all
traditional roles even when you’re
dating. when you are dating him, make
sure his food is ready as soon as he
walks through that door bitch. it doesn’t
matter that you’re in school or you are
also working like him, shit like that don’t
matter. you have to show your man that
you can put your back into it and be that
super woman who will clean, cook, pop
your back in bed and still pop out those
kids.
– You gats deny all them man them. Have
you ever had sex? made out with
someone? ummm…you don’t have to tell
your nigerian man that. when you’re
asked your body count is 1 or 2, never
more than 3 though cos you’re already
side stepping into whoredom. never
mind that your nigerian man’s count is
like 54, who cares? he’s only out there
fucking everything in skirt so that he can
impress you in bed. all of what he does is
for you, you ingrate!! he’s out there
putting his penis in everything in other
to come home and please you in bed and
you have the guts to say you have a body
count of more than 3? if any man claims
he has slept with you, cry and swear that
you know no such man. refer to rule
number 1, start quoting Bible passages
about how your enemies are chasing you
and shit.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body
count is bullshit. you only have 3
choices: 1, 2, or 3. other than that, you
might as well just remain single.
– A nigerian man has needs that only you
can’t meet. you have to give him some
penis room. why are you being selfish?
let men be men. let them have wings to
fly. don’t be asking him why he came
home late. you smell perfume on him? be
happy that some girl is keeping him
moisturized and smelling all good. that’s
one thing you don’t have to do today. Let
them have some fun girl, you just want
that ring on your finger don’t you? relax.
that diamond that you can instagram
with well manicured fingers is coming.
– Last but not least, cook up a storm!!!
your man should not be going hungry.
cater to his food palette girl!! if you don’t
cook for him some other girl will cook
for him and steal him away. cook him
new delicacies all day, find out how his
mother used to do it, cook for his friends
too. why do you want to eat in
restaurant? bitch please use that money
and take your arse to the grocery store
and make that man some food. let him
save that money he would have used to
take you out on your ring darling. be
wise. a stitch in time saves nine.
This is my good deed for the day. Let
him who have ears, listen or something
like that.
Comments
Post a Comment