The recent alarm raised by the Catholic Women
Organisation that husbands would become
scarce in Nigeria in 2023 may just be right as
P.M.NEWS can confirm that many Nigerian
spinsters are currently witnessing the no-
husband syndrome.
Within the last few weeks, some of the ladies
who spoke with our correspondent reported
serious apprehension, pressure and a total lack
of peace as the consequence of their inability to
get married.
One of the ladies, who preferred to be simply
called Titi said she had taken the issue of
marriage as a do-or-die affair due to “internal
pressure” but that as much as she had tried,
frustration had often been the result.
At 37, the businesswoman who sells clothes in
Ikeja, the Lagos State capital in western Nigeria,
told P.M.NEWS that she is not finding life easy.
“What is happiness without a man in a woman’s
life?”she asked our correspondent during a chat
on Badoo, a relationship site on the internet.
She had dated several men with some promising
marriage, but without fulfilling the promise.
“You can’t imagine that in the last three years, I
have dated about eight men, but the relationship
was often short-lived simply because I ask for
their commitment.
“I am not getting any younger and I cry every
time I see my mates with their husbands and
children.
“If at 37 I don’t have a child or a permanent
man, when would I have them? Is it when my
skin has wrinkled? she asked our correspondent.
Chioma (surname withheld), 35, has found
herself patronising many of the social interaction
sites on the internet.
The banker told our correspondent that she is on
Eskimi, 2go, Badoo, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter
as well as 4clique, a site that was launched in
Nigeria days ago.
“We can’t tell the particular broom in the bunch
that kills a fly,” she told P.M.NEWS on why she
patronises such number of social interaction
sites.
“I always change my name in the different sites
but the ultimate goal is to get a husband,” she
added.
Chioma told P.M.NEWS that she is really worried
about the situation, adding that she lives
comfortably (in a mini-flat and has a car), “but
who do I have to enjoy this comfort with me?
“I have tried a hook up programme on a Lagos-
based radio station, but my age is now a major
factor hindering my dream of being married,” she
lamented pleading with our married
correspondent, who she considered a bachelor,
to “help dry my tears.”
A married woman, who gave her name as Mrs.
Blessing Aguebor and resident in Oshodi,
confirmed that the issue of lack of serious men
for marriage is giving many ladies sleepless
nights.
She narrated the touching story of her friend
who was disappointed by her boyfriend of five
years when it was time to “settle down”.
“My friend was 29 when he met this man in
Benin and they dated for five years. The man
was always giving the lady hope without her
knowing the man had other plans. The year he
fixed for their marriage was the year he travelled
abroad without even informing my friend.
“It was later he called her and asked her to find
another man because he still had many more
years to hustle. My friend almost went mad.
“She is 36 now without a man. I had to convince
her to relocate to Lagos so that possibly out of
the population here, she would find someone. It
is pathetic,” she said.
A 38-year old business woman in Ketu, Mrs. Rita
Adewunmi, narrated how she lost her first
husband to a friend, Idayat, who was desperate
for a husband.
According to Mrs. Adewunmi who remarried last
year, Idayat was 36 and needed a husband but
her search was endless.
“I was always encouraging her and made her a
part of my family. She would always help me
take care of the kids when I go to the market.
“With time, she took over my husband without my
knowledge until the day I caught them red-
handed and that was the end of my marriage.
Ladies are like hunters these days,” she said.
Asked why she was not married at 34, Blessing
Osuoha, a nurse with a private hospital in Abuja,
retorted: “that is why I’m on this social site. Why
are you asking? Is it a bad idea if you propose to
me?”
She explained that life was becoming unbearable
without a husband.
“My friends and family members are aways
asking when they would come and ‘chop’ rice,
and I keep hoping,” she added.
A marriage counsellor in Lagos, Mrs. Victoria
Aliu, told P.M.NEWS that scarcity of ‘real men’
is becoming a terrible condition for women ready
for marriage.
She blamed the problem partly on the Nigerian
economy, confusion among the bachelors on
their choices of the women they want as wives
and the attitudes of the spinsters.
“Many women, whether consciously or not,
behave irritably sometimes, forgetting that the
man just beside them at every point in time may
just have been nursing how to start a
conversation that could lead to marriage.
“Some other ladies are very choosy and
unserious at their early stages of adulthood.
They only open their eyes to discover that their
friends are all married and that they are the only
ones left at the bus stop. Then it becomes a
terrible case for them,” she explained.
http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2013/09/06/nigerian-
ladies-worry-over-scarcity-of-men/
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