When Suits Become a Stumbling
Block : A Plea to My Brothers in
Christ*
June 19 , 2014
Written by L .P.
There has been a lot of talking ,
debating, and hand- wringing
among Christian bloggers lately
about modesty; particularly yoga
pants, making men uncomfortable
by being attractive, and in
general , ways in which to combat
everyone ’s favorite “ evil” : lust .
Well , I ’d like to hop on the
modesty bandwagon and discuss
something that I have personally
struggled with for many, many
years.
[deep breath]
Suits.
Specifically , men in suits .
Yes, folks : I struggle with lusting
after men in suits .
I want to be brutally honest about
this struggle . As young- ish,
heterosexual woman who is trying
to keep her thoughts pure and her
eyes on Jesus, I have to say …every
day, EVERY DAY, is a battle .
Every time I pass a man in a well -
tailored suit, I try to keep my eyes
averted to avoid the evil, lustful
thoughts that will surely creep into
my head . Sometimes I ’m
successful. Other times…I ’m in an
office building and I find my
senses assaulted by a sea of men
in strutting around in well -
tailored suits , smelling of cologne
and after - shave and …….
[gazes out the window]
Don’ t these men have any self
respect? Do they even understand
how their clothing affects me? I
wonder what is going through
men’s heads when they decide to
dress this way . All I know is that
when a man wears a nice suit
with pants that are juuuust tight
enough, I will notice .
Therefore I am issuing a plea to
my brothers in Christ for an
understanding of where I ’m
coming from. When you choose to
exist in public looking well -
groomed and sharp , you are
basically extending an invitation
for me to lust after you.
Listen, as a woman I’ m an
emotional creature . I want to feel
protected and safe , and nothing
screams “ I am a MAN and I will
protect you” like a suit and tie. I
can ’t help it, that’ s just how I ’m
wired.** It ’s science . LOOK IT UP .
Now I know what you might be
saying : “ Well, isn’t it YOUR
responsibility to control your
thoughts around men ?”
Of COURSE. We are all called to
rid our thoughts of lust . But again ,
as my brothers in Christ, is it
asking too much of you to simply
be more attentive to what you
wear ?
If the purpose of our clothes is to
glorify God, how are you doing so
by wearing something that
obviously causes others to sin in
their minds? Yes , it is everyone ’s
job to control their own eyes , but
you ALSO have a responsibility to
not give them reason to sin .
Perhaps, instead of chastising me
for not having enough self control,
you could take a good hard look at
what’s in your closet and then ask
yourself: “ Is my wardrobe
advertising something that is not
for sale ?”
I mean …
Listen…
…………………………………… .what
were we talking about?
Right. MODESTY !
Not only must you be mindful of
your wardrobe, but you must also
understand that your body is a
commodity. Anytime you appear in
public, it is assumed that any body
part you show is something that is
available to everyone . Look at
your hands . Are they strong ?
What about your arms ? Muscular ?
Well , are they available for me to
enjoy? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU
SHOWING THEM? What kind of
message do you think you’ re
sending?
What’s that? You were under the
impression that you only dress for
yourself (or for what is required
by your place of employment)? OF
COURSE NOT!
If you truly cared about my desire
to live holy , you would take into
consideration how your clothing
(and how sexy you look in it) may
be a potential stumbling block for
me. Have you considered maybe
wearing a suit that is too large for
you? Perhaps that hideous tie in
your (or your dad ’s ) closet from
the 70 s ? Do you have any plaid?
Never mind .
But don ’t worry ! You can assist me
in my journey towards a pure and
lust - free mind by not only getting
rid of all your well - tailored suits ,
but also by avoiding the following
actions:
1 . Throwing your jacket over your
shoulders.
2 . Flaunting your intelligence by
saying smart things (like pointing
out ridiculous arguments against
teachers I SEE YOU MATT
DAMON ).
3 . Being a talented musician .
4 . Wearing white button- down
shirts .
5 . Talking passionately about
social justice causes (like…. say…
fracking for example ).
6 . Reading books .
Hey GREGORY. Put that away .
7 . Looking pensive and / or
smoldering.
8 . Wearing glasses .
9 . Dancing .
10 . Standing around looking
pensive.
11 . Sitting in chairs .
12 . Sitting while looking pensive.
Now this is by no means an
exhaustive list . Granted , there
may be clothing and / or behaviors
not listed here that others find
desirable . It is YOUR
responsibility to find out what
they are and eliminate them from
your life . By avoiding clothing,
actions, behavior , personality
traits , conversations, or anything
else that has even the SLIGHTEST
possibility of causing others to lust
after you, you are demonstrating
that you care enough about others
to assist them on their path to
righteousness .
But, what if my job requires me to
wear a suit ?
WELL , CLEARLY YOU NEED TO
FIND ANOTHER JOB.
Look , don ’ t think of this as a
laundry list of things to avoid in
order to appear modest-
But…you JUST made a list of
things-
LET ME FINISH.
This isn ’t just about a list of
modesty dos and don ’ ts ; this is
about making drastic significant
minute life changes in order to
prevent even the REMOTE
possibility of any thought of a
lustful or sexual nature entering
the minds of those you interact
with.
Remember: upholding an
impossible standard that will
never remain static and is subject
to the cultural , religious , or
societal context within which it
resides must ALWAYS trump your
comfort, convenience , and ability
to exist in a public space in
whatever manner you choose .
*This is satire. Put your pitchforks
down .
**Not really . I believe this is an
archaic gender norm many people
internalize.
Block : A Plea to My Brothers in
Christ*
June 19 , 2014
Written by L .P.
There has been a lot of talking ,
debating, and hand- wringing
among Christian bloggers lately
about modesty; particularly yoga
pants, making men uncomfortable
by being attractive, and in
general , ways in which to combat
everyone ’s favorite “ evil” : lust .
Well , I ’d like to hop on the
modesty bandwagon and discuss
something that I have personally
struggled with for many, many
years.
[deep breath]
Suits.
Specifically , men in suits .
Yes, folks : I struggle with lusting
after men in suits .
I want to be brutally honest about
this struggle . As young- ish,
heterosexual woman who is trying
to keep her thoughts pure and her
eyes on Jesus, I have to say …every
day, EVERY DAY, is a battle .
Every time I pass a man in a well -
tailored suit, I try to keep my eyes
averted to avoid the evil, lustful
thoughts that will surely creep into
my head . Sometimes I ’m
successful. Other times…I ’m in an
office building and I find my
senses assaulted by a sea of men
in strutting around in well -
tailored suits , smelling of cologne
and after - shave and …….
[gazes out the window]
Don’ t these men have any self
respect? Do they even understand
how their clothing affects me? I
wonder what is going through
men’s heads when they decide to
dress this way . All I know is that
when a man wears a nice suit
with pants that are juuuust tight
enough, I will notice .
Therefore I am issuing a plea to
my brothers in Christ for an
understanding of where I ’m
coming from. When you choose to
exist in public looking well -
groomed and sharp , you are
basically extending an invitation
for me to lust after you.
Listen, as a woman I’ m an
emotional creature . I want to feel
protected and safe , and nothing
screams “ I am a MAN and I will
protect you” like a suit and tie. I
can ’t help it, that’ s just how I ’m
wired.** It ’s science . LOOK IT UP .
Now I know what you might be
saying : “ Well, isn’t it YOUR
responsibility to control your
thoughts around men ?”
Of COURSE. We are all called to
rid our thoughts of lust . But again ,
as my brothers in Christ, is it
asking too much of you to simply
be more attentive to what you
wear ?
If the purpose of our clothes is to
glorify God, how are you doing so
by wearing something that
obviously causes others to sin in
their minds? Yes , it is everyone ’s
job to control their own eyes , but
you ALSO have a responsibility to
not give them reason to sin .
Perhaps, instead of chastising me
for not having enough self control,
you could take a good hard look at
what’s in your closet and then ask
yourself: “ Is my wardrobe
advertising something that is not
for sale ?”
I mean …
Listen…
…………………………………… .what
were we talking about?
Right. MODESTY !
Not only must you be mindful of
your wardrobe, but you must also
understand that your body is a
commodity. Anytime you appear in
public, it is assumed that any body
part you show is something that is
available to everyone . Look at
your hands . Are they strong ?
What about your arms ? Muscular ?
Well , are they available for me to
enjoy? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU
SHOWING THEM? What kind of
message do you think you’ re
sending?
What’s that? You were under the
impression that you only dress for
yourself (or for what is required
by your place of employment)? OF
COURSE NOT!
If you truly cared about my desire
to live holy , you would take into
consideration how your clothing
(and how sexy you look in it) may
be a potential stumbling block for
me. Have you considered maybe
wearing a suit that is too large for
you? Perhaps that hideous tie in
your (or your dad ’s ) closet from
the 70 s ? Do you have any plaid?
Never mind .
But don ’t worry ! You can assist me
in my journey towards a pure and
lust - free mind by not only getting
rid of all your well - tailored suits ,
but also by avoiding the following
actions:
1 . Throwing your jacket over your
shoulders.
2 . Flaunting your intelligence by
saying smart things (like pointing
out ridiculous arguments against
teachers I SEE YOU MATT
DAMON ).
3 . Being a talented musician .
4 . Wearing white button- down
shirts .
5 . Talking passionately about
social justice causes (like…. say…
fracking for example ).
6 . Reading books .
Hey GREGORY. Put that away .
7 . Looking pensive and / or
smoldering.
8 . Wearing glasses .
9 . Dancing .
10 . Standing around looking
pensive.
11 . Sitting in chairs .
12 . Sitting while looking pensive.
Now this is by no means an
exhaustive list . Granted , there
may be clothing and / or behaviors
not listed here that others find
desirable . It is YOUR
responsibility to find out what
they are and eliminate them from
your life . By avoiding clothing,
actions, behavior , personality
traits , conversations, or anything
else that has even the SLIGHTEST
possibility of causing others to lust
after you, you are demonstrating
that you care enough about others
to assist them on their path to
righteousness .
But, what if my job requires me to
wear a suit ?
WELL , CLEARLY YOU NEED TO
FIND ANOTHER JOB.
Look , don ’ t think of this as a
laundry list of things to avoid in
order to appear modest-
But…you JUST made a list of
things-
LET ME FINISH.
This isn ’t just about a list of
modesty dos and don ’ ts ; this is
about making drastic significant
minute life changes in order to
prevent even the REMOTE
possibility of any thought of a
lustful or sexual nature entering
the minds of those you interact
with.
Remember: upholding an
impossible standard that will
never remain static and is subject
to the cultural , religious , or
societal context within which it
resides must ALWAYS trump your
comfort, convenience , and ability
to exist in a public space in
whatever manner you choose .
*This is satire. Put your pitchforks
down .
**Not really . I believe this is an
archaic gender norm many people
internalize.