Disclaimer: This is serious post with comic relief
to go with it. it ain't that serious!
1. Composure. No matter what you may think or
have heard, guys do not want any gangster chic,
they don’t wanta woman who will break a bottle
on another’s head because they know that may
be their head someday. A composed lady has
better promise.
2. Beauty. We really aren’tso crazy about how
you look. All we are saying is ifyou lackboobs
and hips, try to make sure it’s only one and
make up for it somehow. A beautiful brain is an
example of a greatasset.
3. Culinary skills. Guys marry women that can
cookand date those that can’t. Tryand perfect
your Egusi and Afang soup making skills. Thisis a
valid plus inyour resume.
4. Don’t believe what you watch on Africa Magic,
we don’t want a domineering woman. If you
cannot be submissive, we cannot wear trouser
with you and fight for who is the man of the
house.
5. Talking about Africa Magic, if you are one of
those women that sit around all the time and
have watched 90 percent of all their movies,
then the probability of a good man finding you is
low.
6. We fear women that watch Africa Magic
becauseweassume you that is yourcitadel of
learning. Who wants a woman who has over 3
babalawos’ phone numbers?
7. Manners. That head tapping thing you do when
your weave is overdue? Stop it. Hasn’t anyone
told you it makes you look like a drug addict
craving her next fix? Or are you trying to
accelerate the flow of blood in your brain? Stop
it.
8. Education.We don’t like when women have all
these strange degrees such as Journalism and
Medical Genetics. Please stick to Law,
Accounting and mostlyHome Economics. Thanks.
9. While still on education, please do not go
beyond afirst degree. Why go for a Masters when
we already intend to make you the Mrs? Too
many university degrees makes us feel likelesser
beings.
10. Sex. We will really appreciate it if you have a
non-existent intimate life/thoughts before we
meet. Let us be the ones toteach you from our
experience.
11. Independence. We don’t like our women
listening to Beyonce. Remember her trackslike
‘Single Ladies’, ‘Independent Women’, and ‘Girls
Run The World’? What kind of brain washingis
that? So if you must listen to music, don’t do any
of these new songs, do Cyndi Lauper, Dolly
Parton, etc.
12. Carriage. Guys want women who carry
themselves well. This means we don’t want you
looking like the Michelin man or all these
Christian mothers.
13. Still talking of carriage,when we go out
please respect yourself. Even if there’s no food
at home, don’twipe the plate clean. When we go
to parties, please all this grinding and‘lepa on the
floor’ dance steps should be reserved for when
we get back home.
14. Guys do not like hairnets, wrappers and late
night egg masks on the face.
Thanks in advance.
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