They say it takes a village, and when
you’re single, it actually might. (A village of friends, that is.) I personally could not do without mine; I need that mix of personalities to help keep me in check. I need a panel. A balanced one.
Here’s my list of indispensable friends:
THE SHRINK
I am lucky enough that one of my best friends is a shrink. No, really. It’s her actual job. This is what’s so great about having a shrink as a best friend: They never judge. And if they do, they don’t tell you. They use phrases like “Why are you engaging?” and “That’s okay, it’s
how it makes you feel.” They will tell youit’s okay to call or text if that’s what you feel you need to do. And you believe them. Because it’s their job to help people.
“I have called 26 times. I can’t stop. Do you think I should call again?”
“If you feel you need to do that, then
that’s what you need to do to get through it.”
They will tell you to ask yourself why
you feel you need to do that (which of
course is code for please don’t), but then
give you permission to go right ahead.
And sometimes you need to hit rock
bottom before you can find your way to
the top. They know that. And trust me,
one day, you will too.
THE WING MAN
This friend will go to the ends of earth in
support of your most unhealthy
endeavors mainly because she enjoys
watching the show. She will encourage
you to do things — things you would
never dream of doing — because she
thinks it’s fun to watch. She is the
equivalent of drinking 6 shots of tequila,
giving you courage that you maybe
shouldn’t have. She will tell you all of
your craziness is justified. She will tell
you that you are way better than he is.
And she really does believe it. Why?
Because she is your best friend and has
your back no matter what. Even when
you are 100% wrong. You need this
person as a confidence booster. An alter
ego, if you will. Even if it may sometimes
get you into trouble, which, I assure you,
it will.
THE JUDGER
This is crucial. You must have a
judgmental friend. One who will make
you feel this big when you tell her what
you have done. She will tell you that the
guy you are dating doesn’t like you, if
he’s not treating you right. She will tell
you he is not that into you and reinforce
all of your deepest insecurities. She will
make you feel like shit for days when you
tell her about that text you sent that you
know you shouldn’t have sent. There is
nothing that can win her approval short
of him showing up on your doorstep with
4000 flowers, and even then she still may
think he sucks. But you do need her.
Because sometimes, though not always —
she’s probably right.
THE OPPOSITE SEX
This one is tricky and you must tread
carefully. First and foremost, it can’t be
someone who may have feelings for you
in any way. In that case, he may do his
best to sabotage your relationship. It
must also be someone who is able to
have healthy relationships of his own
and offer real advice you can stick to. It
can’t be a playboy, someone who has
never been in a relationship, or someone
who is jaded against relationships of any
kind. Because he’s of the opposite sex,
you will think he’s are the authority of
that sex. And that’s okay. Sometimes
blind faith is good.
THE VOICE OF REASON*
This is the friend that doesn’t choose a
side. She is able to look at both sides of
the argument and understand each. This
person may surprise you with her
diplomacy and you need her to keep you
balanced. While the judger is making
you feel like shit, the wing man is pulling
you off a very dangerous cliff, the
opposite sex is stereotyping the gender
as a whole, and the shrink is telling you
no matter how you feel it’s okay to feel
that way even if it’s insane, which it
most likely is, the voice of reason will be
able to tie it all together for you. You
need this person. She will tell you when
you’re being bat shit crazy. She will help
you put things in perspective, which you
will need when things become unclear,
as they often will.
*Note: This is the person you should
listen to the most. You know that. But
you won’t always. And that’s okay.
Your turn: Can you ID each of these
friend types in your life? Did we miss
anyone? Disagree with anyone we
included? Tell us
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